So when I first got divorced seven years ago I tried online dating for awhile...well six months actually if you can call that awhile. The first man I dated was divorced with a son. He didn't kiss me even after five dates... and even though at first I thought it was sweet... my impatience and impending boredom forced me to move on. The next guy I dated for awhile but he ended up being a large child in so many ways... I'm still friends with him but we did not work as a couple. They next guy... and the one that ultimately made me walk away from online dating for good...I'm pretty sure was a child molester....after two dates he asked if he could take my daughter to the movies...umm nope and don't let the door hit you on the way out...or wait...maybe let it. After him I deleted my account and decided to trust the universe to bring me what I needed, when I needed it. That well placed trust worked out just fine for me then and continues to be my approach to this day.
Now don't get me wrong... I realize many people have met their significant other online. In this day and age it's becoming more popular and more successful...so it would seem. I have very very dear friends who met on Plenty of Fish and I don't think I've ever seen a more sweet, loving, healthy relationship in my entire life. I get it occasionally works. I've just decided...it's not the road for me. So why, you may ask, did I attempt the same approach to my social life? Good question!
On to the MeetUps....so I moved to a Small Midwestern Town about a 18 months ago. The reasons...good and not so good... are for another post but the point is I wanted to make a go of it and I figured finding friends was an essential part of fitting in and having the place grow on me. I used to meet people through my kids but those days were kinda over and I'm not a church goer so I was looking to find another avenue for meeting friends. I've learned over the years that the easiest way for me to make friends is by having a shared goal with a bunch of people, seeing them on a regular basis for said goal, and letting friendships develop (or not) naturally. I had a volunteer organization that worked great for that before I moved but I was also having a hard time finding volunteer work that suited me in my new town. An internet search brought me to Meetup.com.....
So this, I thought, was perfect! I could get together with a bunch of people that wanted to get together and we could get to know each other....BOOM instant (or semi-instant) friends. First, I decided to focus on women's groups. Not that I'm a prude or anything, but I was looking for friendships, not hook-ups and even though it wasn't a dating site, I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea. There were groups for everything! Yoga, bicycling, hiking, and my favorite category.... Girls Night Out!
Long story short.....cuz I could go on forever and a day.... I tried Meetup for about the same amount of time I tried Match...6 months. People would RSVP for events and not show...people would be the HOST of events and not show....people that I had a slight connection with that I thought maybe I could be friends with, I never saw again after one initial night. I even broke my rule about women only and joined a few coed groups hoping the turnouts would be better but ended up getting inboxed from strange men asking "how you doin?" in what I could only imagine was in their best Joey Tribbiani accent. Needless to say I "unjoined" those groups before even attending an event. The last two Meetups sealed the deal and ended my 6 month stint. On the second to the last, 16 people RSVP'ed to dinner and drinks at a sushi place...it ended up being me and one other person (and that was about the 5th time that had happened to me) and the last one was the mommy group I talked about in detail in my very first blog post that motivated me to start this blog in the first place.
So a few final things to say about my experience....First of all...if you are the type of person that says you will be somewhere and are so freakin non-committal that you can't get your ass in gear to actually show up....STOP IT! It's rude, it lacks integrity and quite frankly, makes you look like an asshole. Do what you say you will do. It's called being a freakin grown up. Secondly, if you want to meet chicks online, don't "pretend" you don't want to and join a meetup group (LOSER) just to act like you are only there to be friends and then hit on a bunch of women all at once and see who bites. Like having 20 rods in the water and whoever is stupid enough to bite gets the boobie prize. Grow a set and find another dating tactic that actually shows respect for the people you are trying to date.
That's it... done with rant... and if you are on Meetup and it works for you... all the power to ya! I've moved on.....
Until next time!
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