Love after divorce... does it exist and if so what does it look like. I'm starting to find out but it's still a process. I think when many of us get divorced and feel like we are ready to move on to the next person, we tend to formulate some sort of list. Could be written, could be mental, could be something we start talking about to other people... I really want a guy that_____. I suppose it's natural. Typically there are some good reasons why we are divorced and we certainly don't want a repeat of the life experiences that led to a bad break up. After divorce we certainly know many things we don't want so it's natural to make sure those things don't get on the list.
What I'm finding is that it's much more complex when it finally does happen. No one is perfect and no one will fit everything on your "list" and if they did boredom would naturally set in... come on.. admit it... you know you would get bored without some kind of a challenge. My experience the second time around is learning to let go of the list and to really get to know someone and appreciate them for who they are. I think having "the list" is a way of keeping the old relationship alive in the new. After all, why was the list there to begin with? It's because the last relationship put it there.
A few pieces of advice.
1. Don't put your happiness in someone else's hand....they will drop it every single time.
2. Don't sacrifice yourself with the supposed understanding that after you do some how your partner will see that you sacrificed and hold your open heart in their hands and not ever hurt it.
3. Make decisions based on what makes YOU happy. In the end it's the only way not to have regrets.
Stay tuned!
What I'm finding is that it's much more complex when it finally does happen. No one is perfect and no one will fit everything on your "list" and if they did boredom would naturally set in... come on.. admit it... you know you would get bored without some kind of a challenge. My experience the second time around is learning to let go of the list and to really get to know someone and appreciate them for who they are. I think having "the list" is a way of keeping the old relationship alive in the new. After all, why was the list there to begin with? It's because the last relationship put it there.
A few pieces of advice.
1. Don't put your happiness in someone else's hand....they will drop it every single time.
2. Don't sacrifice yourself with the supposed understanding that after you do some how your partner will see that you sacrificed and hold your open heart in their hands and not ever hurt it.
3. Make decisions based on what makes YOU happy. In the end it's the only way not to have regrets.
Stay tuned!
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